After three and a half years as a Bookkeeper with the same employer, one would think that a person has job security in a mom and pop company, right? Wrong! Especially if your employer’s religious beliefs violates your own religious beliefs. Add to this scenario that the employer does a good deal of business with people of their own religious persuasion. The fact that you are a regular American who has always celebrated Christmas (and Easter) is no longer valid once you step into your employer’s office, at least in their eyes. No poinsettias, no Christmas cards, and no decorations are allowed in this work place. This is one strike against you. If a friend of the employer is looking for other work, a position that you currently occupy, this could be another strike against you. It was in my case.
Let’s back up a bit before we finish the story. I had a good marriage through my twenties and early thirties. It wasn’t until we decided to relocate to my husband’s childhood stomping grounds that reality hit. We had no friends and no family in our new surroundings. My husband was in heaven as we lived on the Chesapeake Bay, but I was in hell. What good did it do to appreciate the awesome beauty around us, to hear the Canadian geese, the seagulls, and to watch the beautiful sunsets over the bay when we didn’t have jobs? I feared that we would get evicted. We paid our rent with credit cards. My relationship with my husband changed. We lost the intimacy we once had, and we drifted apart. I began to yell at him instead of having a friendly heart to heart discussion. Finally, I found a job at a trucking company. One day I went into my bosses’ office and cried and told him how bad my marriage was. He just listened until I was done crying, unable to give me any advice. I came to work with chest pains; I was experiencing a panic attack. At the urging of my coworkers, I checked myself into the emergency room. An uncontrollable emotional bout of crying came over me as I was connected to the heart monitor. The doctor prescribed antidepressants. I don’t remember taking a single one. But after getting those pills, I was determined to make it out of the pit I was in without relying on drugs.
I believe that a person has to look inward at his own self-worth before he or she can be successful. The definition of self-worth: the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect. I am a firm believer that a “whole person” seeks wellness spiritually, physically and psychologically. I mentally separated myself in my thoughts from my husband in order to heal myself and the relationship. Another step in the right direction was joining a weight loss program which proved to be very successful. When the pounds came off, the confidence returned. When the confidence returned, my attitudes changed. When my attitudes changed, I was more successful in my employment. This was a difficult time in my life, not only for my marriage and my search for good employment, but we also cared for my father-in-law who was in poor health. He lived with us until his passing.
We relocated again soon after the death of my father-in-law. We decided to live in the Florida Panhandle. Job wise that may have been a big mistake, but God was watching over us. I took a job as a bookkeeper in a sign shop owned by a husband and wife. They appeared very professional. They had to be since they did business with companies on the beach that had large bank accounts. But I slowly became aware of their religious persuasion and the “other” people they did business with. I was even given religious tracts to take home. What was most entertaining was to hear the Misses use very scathing dialogue to the Mister when something displeased her. Her tone was like acid.
The rest of the employees in the room would jokingly say, “Brrrr! It’s awfully cold in here all of a sudden,” as we shivered in our seats. The Misses would leave the office.
The Mister would say, “Here I am, a shell of a man,” as we laughed with him.
Yes, there were times that it was nice to work with them. Still, there were other times that I wondered what I was doing there. I really wanted an excuse to find another job. But up until then it was the only employer that I had stayed with the longest since we moved to the Panhandle.
Then out of the blue it happened. One day I was approached by Mister and Misses employer and they told me that I was being terminated. They even gave me a sizable severance pay. Instead of lashing out at them, I thanked them for the opportunity to work for them. I had nothing but good things to say about them (at the time). The Misses did a fake crying spell as if I heaped fiery coals of goodness on her head. They stood there at my desk to watch me as I gathered up my personal belongings, as if I would steal anything or do something out of spite. It was later that I found out that they hired a very good friend of theirs to take my position. To my delight, she only lasted a couple of weeks.
Here we are, back where we left off. I was unemployed, but I kept a good attitude. Up until then, I didn’t own a cell phone. I finally bought a pay-as-you-go phone. It proved to help me in my job search. When I wasn’t job hunting, I considered landscaping the area outside my bedroom and bathroom window. It was a plain grassy area that ended at a privacy fence. The idea to spend money on plants in order to landscape sounds crazy when a household income has stopped coming in. But I kept my focus on two things: to plant a new garden and to find a new job. Why sit around and be useless when I can focus some positive energy into something beautiful? I purchased some Blue Point Junipers, a rose bush, berry colored Wave petunias, Yaupon holly, mulch, pavers and a statue of a sleeping Cupid sitting on a globe. I labored as much out in the Florida heat as I did scouring the city for employment. In planting my garden, I saw immediate results. The junipers, the rose bush, and the Yaupon holly were the “bones” of my garden, while the petunias and the Cupid took center stage. I recorded my progress with my camera as I did all of my gardening projects.
Meanwhile, I visited the unemployment office. At least there was the internet and a copier/fax machine available to use. While there, I happened upon an advertisement for an accounting position. A temporary agency placed a job opening through the unemployment office. What are the chances of that happening? The job opening was for a franchise home office in the hospitality industry. An interview was given, the longest one in my life. It was three hours, but then that seems to be the standard there. I got the job! I was only unemployed ONE WEEK. I didn’t even have time to collect unemployment.
When I look back at what should have been devastating to my household income and to my self-worth, I kept my focus on positive things. I kept busy. In the end, losing that job was the best thing that ever happened to me. I now worked in an atmosphere that was free from harassment, both religiously and verbally (no foul language). My last place of employment had me working in a hot warehouse while paint fumes seeped past the doorway into my office space. In my new job, I made more money, received paid healthcare, and had a beautiful office space with an atrium. And best of all, I had a better boss and better coworkers, meaning that they were the type of people that a person could form lifetime friendships with. Although, like many women, I still struggle with my weight; I probably will for the rest of my life. I consider my marriage to be a healthy one, although there are still some intimacy issues. But who doesn’t have them? We are both hard working people who share a lot of interests. We make occasional dates outside of home, and enjoy mixed martial art events on TV together. Common interests and a love for God help give us a healthy relationship. As one Christian acquaintance put it, “Your husband is God’s gift, and His gift hasn’t changed”. That was my neighbor giving me a pep talk when I was going through a dry spell. My husband was and forever will be my best friend and the love of my life.
I acknowledge that God has provided for me my soul mate/spouse, my employer, and all of the things that I enjoy. I would like to finish by quoting Proverbs 3:5 & 6, the Living Bible translation, “If you want favor with both God and man, and a reputation for good judgment and common sense, then trust the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success.”
Afterword
All of "Lose a Job, Gain a Garden" is a true account in my life, although I have omitted names and specific places. I cannot take full credit for my accomplishments to date, for my current employment or for being published - I give the credit to God for guiding my steps in my journey through life. Although I had a background fraught with deep personal strife and emotional pain, I'm pleased to say that my journey of healing is continuing to this day. I still pray for healing and restoration for my family members, but I have learned to let go of my own bitterness and unforgiveness in order to be a whole person - I'm still a 'work in progress' at this point, but it improves every day with God's help. My biggest supporter is my husband, who was adopted at a very young age and has given me the unique impression that even if other people turned away from me, God has never done so. My husband is proof that God continues to bless me by bringing wonderful people into my life. It makes the journey of life that much sweeter.
The news about Robin Williams's suicide is pretty devastating for me - I always admired how, even in the darkest times, he had such an amazing gift to make people laugh. It's a great loss for the world when someone with the talent and the ability to bring joy to so many people is suffering so much that they take their own life. But I think this highlights the need to stop the stigma of mental illness, because we've all been given great talents to use for the benefit of society and if we can't fight our way through our pain, we can't live up to our full potential. My heart goes out to his family.
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